Couples therapy

I work with adult couples of all genders, sexual-orientations, and relationship statuses. I focus on the connection between the couple, the third-entity that is the relationship, while exploring the individual and relational dynamics at play. Working with affects like love, joy and excitement are just as valuable as working through the more challenging emotions and conflicts that arise in relationships; this can be difficult, however, if a couple has gone a long time without feeling these more positive affects with or towards one another. Through intentional communication techniques, explicit communication, and accessing core emotions, we can work through what is showing up on the surface. The surface symptoms may look like patterns or cycles of arguments that seem to repeat on end, the deep hurt from past harm that just doesn’t seem to go away, or the feeling that the wellbeing of the relationship is all on one person’s shoulders. I also work with couples for pre marital/pre long-term-commitment counseling, addressing specific goals of the couple as well as looking at value systems and long-term issues the couple may face later on.

 I take a systemic, whole-person in-context (of society, culture, and the relationship) approach to my work. Input from the couple on how we work together and where we go with that work is a huge part of our process. I openly acknowledge the inherent power dynamic in the therapeutic relationship, and work to shift that into true relational work - we work as a team.

I use Transformative Couples Therapy (formerly Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP) for Couples). Within this work, I utilize somatic-based methods such as focusing, sensing and body scanning to help identify core emotions and deeper processes. By moving slowly, paying attention to the felt experience, and engaging in active listening with each other, the connection between the couple can thrive. The overarching goal for most couples is to maintain the bond between them, especially when they are discussing something hard or going through something challenging. When a couple has the goal of ending a committed relationship, I work with them using the same modalities and structure for the therapeutic relationship, establishing uncoupling goals, boundaries and communication that works for them depending on their unique life and family situations.